Archive for Side Effects

My kind of day

I love the fall, and especially days like today.  It is a chilly, gray, kind of rainy day.  The perfect day to curl up under a blanket and read a book, watch a movie or just relax.  I am not sure why I have always loved days like today, but I do.  These days make a lot of people blue, but they have always made me very content and at peace, like all is right in my world.  I have been able to reflect on the last couple of weeks, I can’t believe how quickly it has gone.  When I started the Lupron it felt like this was such a long road.  But today I was thinking how a week ago it was day two of my stims and I felt like crap.  I can’t believe that was only a week ago, I feel like I have been taking my stims for so much longer than that and feeling normal.  (As normal as I can feel right now).

Today I am choosing to just relax.  I ran an errand early with the dog and we went to the park (yes, in the rain), then home to relax.  I have been laying on the couch for several hours and cannot believe how bloated I am.  I feel like my ovaries are going to explode! I have been bloated for quite a few days, but the last couple have been the worst.  Today it is actually visible, at least to me.  I lay my arm across my abdomen and can tell it is larger, I wonder if I tried to put on any pants besides my work out pants if they would even fit!  I may be exaggerating, but it really doesn’t feel like I am.  So, I think I will continue to lay here, relax, enjoy the gray day and watch the Twins beat Detroit!

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The shots go on

I had my check up today, my body has made great progress (in the words of the nurse) since Saturday.  I now have four follicles on the right side and six on the left.  Yea!!  The ones on the left are still a little small, ideally they would like them to be 18-20mm, 16mm is a mature follicle.  So they gave me two more days of Gonal-F and Menopur injections, and I go back on Wednesday morning for another check.  Now I would say the earliest day for the ER will be Saturday rather than Friday.  We were kind of hoping for Friday because a) we want it to happen, b) I won’t have to miss my class on Saturday morning and c) we could do a low key birthday celebration on Saturday night (dinner and a movie).  But I would rather have everything be as perfect as possible and do it a little later, than rush it and have something go wrong.  I am feeling very optimistic that I will make great progress again over the next two days, hopefully all ten follicles will be mature and maybe there will even be a couple more.

With eight days of stims done the worst of the side effects seem to have gone away.  I have very infrequent headaches now and the nausea has gone away.  One of the effects that I have noticed recently is the bloating, I can tell that my ovaries are a little larger than normal.  I feel some pressure in that area from time to time, and this morning the ultrasound was much more uncomfortable than before.  I am also still a little tired, in fact I took a two hour nap this afternoon.  The biggest side effect for me though has been a loss of appetite.  The only time I am ever hungry is when I wake up in the morning, I have my oatmeal and juice, then sometimes feel a little sick.  Other than that, I am never hungry and nothing sounds good to me.  This has made grocery shopping and meal planning very difficult.  My poor husband feels bad every time he wants something for dinner that doesn’t sound good to me.  I told him he can eat whatever he wants and I will figure out my own dinner.  On Saturday we went shopping and at that time the plan was pasta on Saturday and a spinach salad with chicken on Sunday.  Well, Saturday night I wanted only a tiny bit of pasta because I didn’t feel well.  Sunday was really interesting, salad sounded awful to me, but certain elements of the salad sounded good.  The spinach sounded good, a little of the grilled chicken sounded good, some walnuts, a cut up apple, and a little left over tortellini.  I put little bits of each of these things on my plate and that was dinner.  I have also developed an aversion to beef, especially in a sandwich form like a steak sandwich or hamburger – thinking about it makes my stomach turn, and I LOVE hamburgers!  Meanwhile, C has been craving hamburgers.  This is not a good combination.  So tonight he is having a burger and mac & cheese for dinner, I will have the mac & cheese and maybe an apple.  This part is not fun, but maybe I will lose a couple pounds!

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Better day than yesterday

Yesterday was rough day, a want to throw the towel in kind of day.  After the gusher in the morning the day went down hill.  I felt sick all day, I kept going between nausea and feeling so bloated I wanted to throw up.  Then there was the headache, second day in a row, and by last night it was so bad it gave me the chills and made me more nauseous.  I was also so emotional, crying at the drop of a hat.  I am an emotional person anyway, but this was over the top.  The emotions took me to the dark place.  I have been so confident that the IVF is going to work, but yesterday I got so scared and sad that it isn’t going to work.  All of a sudden I could feel how devastated I will be if it doesn’t work.  I have really worked at being positive about the whole thing, but yesterday I couldn’t help but let those feelings out.  The combination of everything yesterday made me wonder if this is really all worth it, I know that it is and when all is said and down it will seem like it was nothing, but still the thought crept in.  Now the thought that it won’t work lurks in the back of my mind all the time.  Maybe that’s a good thing, help me prepare in case we don’t have a good result.

Today has been a better day.  The injections this morning weren’t perfect, but no gusher.  No nausea, but not much of an appetite either.  The headache would surface lightly, but it never stuck around.  I wasn’t that emotional today.  I was tired, but overall a pretty good day.  I think it helped that I had a great distraction, I got word that my former employer will pay for a class I want to take.  Yea!!  I am excited about the class and even more excited that it is being paid for!  It starts late Saturday morning, nothing like not finding out until the last minute if I will be reimbursed!  I will have to rush downtown after my appointment Saturday morning, it will help keep my mind off of what news the nurse will have when she calls.  I am going to be glad to have something else to focus on besides all of the IVF stuff.  I am happy to be feeling better and more positive today!  Now off to bed to dream about a positive today tomorrow.

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