Archive for General


It snowed here today.  Not anything that stuck around or made it a nuisance to drive, just the soft flakes slowly floating to the ground.  The kind that when you look out the window, you think ‘how pretty’.  Fall is my favorite season, but I do look forward to the first snows of the season.  The dog and I went for a walk while it was coming down a little heavier, her brown fur was speckled with little white dots.  She loves the snow so I was glad we were able to be out in it for a little while.  The cat wanted to follow us outside, but I don’t think he would have appreciated the cold or the damp fur from the snow, besides he is an indoor cat.   (He is snoring away near me right now, sleeping on the back of the couch under the warmth of the lamp.)

While Fall is my favorite season, my truly favorite time of year is Christmas time.  It fills me with so much joy!  I love all the preparations for the holidays, the decorating, shopping for and wrapping gifts, all the baking (and I do A LOT of baking), and getting to spend quality time with my loved ones.   While sitting in the living room at night alone this week (C is in NYC), I decided it is definitely time to decorate!  I need that warm glow of the lights coming off of the tree.  So, I think tomorrow evening C and I will be venturing out to choose our Christmas tree.  We said we were going to get a small one this year, in part to save money and in part to make life a little easier.  We will see when we get to the nursery what happens, I can’t help but want the biggest tree that will fit in the room!  I will try to restrain myself.  I even wrapped some presents today, I actually have most of my shopping done, at least for my side of the family.  We need to work on C’s side, we always have a much harder time coming up with gifts for them.  We are trying to keep the holiday costs down this year and I am doing very well so far!  The IVF came in handy to help out with that.  I earned a lot of reward points on my credit card by using it to pay for the procedure and medication, so I have successfully shopped for my nieces, nephew and grandparents and only spent $15.  If it didn’t result in a baby, at least it was good for something.

Some news on the IF front, we have our follow-up appointment with Dr. D tomorrow morning (finally!).  A few weeks ago when I made the appointment I had all kinds of questions for her, but now after spending the last few weeks focusing on everything except IF, I have forgotten most of them.  I guess I should have written them down.  C and I plan to brainstorm tonight to come up with more than the one I can remember.  If any of you have any suggestions, I would appreciate it!


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The Longest Week

This has felt like the longest week.  It is not because I am impatiently waiting to find out if one (or more) of our tiny embryos have decided to make my uterus home for the next nine months or so, I have had plenty of distractions this week to keep my mind off of that.  It just seems like it has been an eternity since we went through the retrieval and transfer, rather than just a week.  This is only day five post transfer, feels like it should be at least eight or nine.  I hope the next week goes a little quicker, actually I think it will.

Life is returning to normal.  I am happy to report no H1N1 symptoms from C or I, what a relief.  He has been wheezing terribly over night though, which is part of why I am up at 5 AM on a Sunday morning.  He did some cleaning while I was at class yesterday (what a great guy!) and that usually triggers some allergies, I am sure that is all it is.  I did return to class yesterday, we got to do some drawing which I loved.  It felt like I had missed at least two or three classes, even though it was just one.  C returns to NYC this week, back to his normal schedule.  The puppy is back home, we missed her.  I think even the cat missed her; he was a little apprehensive this week when C and the dog disappeared, wondering if I was going to leave him too.  I am feeling more and more like myself, the painful twinges are fewer and further between.  Although this morning I have had several and  I had a dream that I got my period.  I woke up feeling like I was having some discharge and went to the bathroom half expecting to see some blood, there was nothing.  It would be a little to early for that to show up anyway, but you know how the paranoid mind works.

My mom is coming to visit this week, that will be a good distraction for a couple days.  She told me yesterday not to go to any trouble, usually I like to clean the house from top to bottom when we are having company; it’s not going to happen this time.  C did clean up in the bathrooms, we will vacuum, wash the bedding, but that will be the extent.  I told her I wasn’t going to do my usual clean and we will either need to eat out every meal or could do a minor grocery shop when she is here.  She said she would be happy to haul some groceries up our stairs for me, great!  I am not sure what else we will do while she is here, one plan is to go pick out a sewing machine for me.  I have some money from my birthday that I plan to use.  I have never owned a sewing machine and probably haven’t touched one in more than 15 years, but I am excited about it!

Speaking of my birthday, I have had some time to reflect while taking it easy this week.  I realized having the retrieval on my birthday was a great life lesson for becoming a parent.  I have always loved my birthday, I look forward to it every year, regardless of how old I am getting.  Not that I expect or plan a big celebration, but it is at least one day out of the year where I get to  feel special.  This year we (and everyone else) were so focused on the IVF that my birthday was an afterthought.  I am OK with that, this is a pretty important thing to be focused on.  It made me realize, if we are successful and become parents, this is what it will be like.  I no longer come first, the child/ren will always come first.  So I found it to be quite poetic that we would be having a major step in  starting our family on that day.  I look forward to many years of me no longer coming first.

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My kind of day

I love the fall, and especially days like today.  It is a chilly, gray, kind of rainy day.  The perfect day to curl up under a blanket and read a book, watch a movie or just relax.  I am not sure why I have always loved days like today, but I do.  These days make a lot of people blue, but they have always made me very content and at peace, like all is right in my world.  I have been able to reflect on the last couple of weeks, I can’t believe how quickly it has gone.  When I started the Lupron it felt like this was such a long road.  But today I was thinking how a week ago it was day two of my stims and I felt like crap.  I can’t believe that was only a week ago, I feel like I have been taking my stims for so much longer than that and feeling normal.  (As normal as I can feel right now).

Today I am choosing to just relax.  I ran an errand early with the dog and we went to the park (yes, in the rain), then home to relax.  I have been laying on the couch for several hours and cannot believe how bloated I am.  I feel like my ovaries are going to explode! I have been bloated for quite a few days, but the last couple have been the worst.  Today it is actually visible, at least to me.  I lay my arm across my abdomen and can tell it is larger, I wonder if I tried to put on any pants besides my work out pants if they would even fit!  I may be exaggerating, but it really doesn’t feel like I am.  So, I think I will continue to lay here, relax, enjoy the gray day and watch the Twins beat Detroit!

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